About Me

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Karachi, Pakistan
Pharmaceutical brand manager, Geek, Marketeer, Speaker,Procrastinator, Reader, Thinker, Writer, Blogger.Papa's spoiled daughter.I am ought in this world, searching the reason of my sole existence. A reason I believe ..i will find soon. Love my job and Love to think,read and write.

July 29, 2010

The Uncertainity Principle!

We at times, suffer the deaths of our near ones and yet after few days.. we resume life. That's the spirit of being alive. But how uncertain this life is, at one point we are so much engrossed in our lives that we dont even think of the upcoming adversities. Education, Fun, Freedom, Enjoyment, Gettin married, Raising children, Managing a family, Concerns for a career growth, everything seems so inevitable that we in actual, miss out the point of our sole existence. What are we here for? What is the reason of our existence. What is our identity. What do we do, when we are transported from the world here to the unseen world, about which we have heard thousands of time yet we know nothing of it.
We dont know what the future holds for us, yet we have plans, bigger than life itself !
152 passengers on board crashed and landed to the valley of death. I am compelled to think that each person had his own life, everyone his own dreams. Everybody - a story to tell and yet what remains is ... nothing. DEATH only !
This is the fate of life, that we dont write, thats pre-written by the Super Supreme and we merely act as puppets who act in His drama!
There are so many things that you lose in your life, say ur best of the best friends, people you never wanna leave, ur wealth, ur family , a handy mobile phone and so many things.. yet, we have to display the exact note of "sabr", because everything belongs to Allah and we, as Muslims, accept Him as our Lord.

Its hard, its heart-breaking, but today, I thank Allah for all the things he has taken away from me, I will not grieve over them. I will ask Allah to fill my heart with peace and give me the strength to endure this pain.

The messenger of Allah, (P.B.U.H) on the occasion of the death of his only son, Ibraahim said:

'Our eyes are filled with tears, our hearts with grief, but we say nothing with our lips except that which pleases Allah.... Verily, to Allah we belong, and to Him we return.' (Saheeh Bokhari)

Kitna uncertain he sab kuchh, aur yeh uncertainity itni certain honay k bawajood, kitne dharalle se hum sab mein bassti he k is se nikalne ka koi rasta nahin. But, lets hope my friends.. Hope that a new dawn will come!

Raat dhallni toh hai,
anay ujalay toh hein!

July 28, 2010

Khi-Isb Airbus crash!

While rain brought happiness to many of us in Pakistan, today morning an airbus of Airblue flying from Karachi - Islamabad, carrying some 152 passengers on board, crashed at Margalla Hills, Islamabad amid heavy rain & poor visibility.
Initially there had been 5 survivors, but as the day is through, sadly enough, there have been no survivors.
This is supposed to be the second major air-traffic accident, the former being a PIA Airbus A300 that crashed into a cloud-covered hillside on its approach to the Nepalese capital Kathmandu, killing 167 people in September 1992.

May God rest the souls in peace! amen

July 27, 2010

Paanchwan mausam !

Karachi was at its best today. Rains dazzled through the skies whole day. You know my love for these miraculous little drops of water falling from the sky... i love rains !! :)
Rains make karachi, very romantic. A city to fall in love with. Its urban skylines, its magic and charisma.. adds wonder to this beautiful city. the city of lights.
We are lucky to be born in this Land of Pure, where all the four seasons can be enjoyed (though summers take on its toll,a bit longer than others, but even thats a charm for we get MANGOES :D)
Mausam koi bhee ho .. jab tak dil ka mausam acha na ho .. kuch acha nahin lagta.. in 4 mausamon se bhee barh kar hota he.. DIL KA MAUSAM .. jo theek na ho , jo udaas ho toh bahar kitni bhee roshni, kitni bhee ra'anayee kyun na ho ... sab andhera hee rehta hai ..!

July 26, 2010

The Super Supreme Authority has His own ways of dealing with His creatures !:)

Allah is the Supreme Authority. He is the Super Supreme. When I thought, I could change my fate, I could re-write life, the way , i wanted it to be, when I shone with over-confidence, something struck me, blocked my way, and circumstances led me to walk on a way, where I never wanted to go. Then I realised, there is someone else who controls us. He has his own plans. We either accept it or succumb to our fate. Allah showed me that He is the Authr
ority and He has His plans for me. It took me a lot of pain, sufferings and time to realise what immaculous favours Allah did to me by changing my path. Only, if humans could realise !!
Destiny is pre-defined. Fate is locked. Then who says prayers can change the course of our lifetimes? Nevertheless, I have a firm believe. I ask from Allah. Not for my ownself but for many others around me because it is Allah who says .. "mujh se mango, mein tumhari duaon ko qubool karta hoon".
I feel the pain to look behind, last year.. just one whole last year.. what did I ask Allah and what did He give me in return.. all in all His route of plans! :)
I bow down. Because Believers do no question. I do, but thats my human instinct and I know, Allah will forgive me for it. The most happening stuff this year was to meet few people, I never knew I could be friends with and bingo! there they are , in my life, so contrary to me.. yet so important part of my life they have been. And as the night of 15th Shabaan comes closer, I wonder ... what lies ahead for me this year. What fate decides for me. What new things I get into. What do i lose next year ... and what do I gain.
So I make a wish, I make a small silent prayer to The Supreme Authority that "God, Give me the strength to endure happiness in everything that You decide for me. Give a lot of health, wealth, prosperity and serenity to my family and give my "friends" all that they wish for". aameen!
P.S: Can we make a deal on buying a car in prayers?

July 23, 2010

Dance in the rain !

And it rained again.
My sheer love with rains, grow everytime i see raindrops falling from the sky. The dusk, the mist, the fog, the unclarity in the vividness of showers is always pleasing to the eye.
And yet, as always, rains depress me!
Its wonderful to walk in the rain. Tearful, if you are alone!
And btw, have u ever tried rain disco? It happens in many parts of the world with artificially created rains & music systems. Damn. Its amazing! :)

July 19, 2010

Call - Bichar Ke Bhi

Chup mein nahin, na be-zubaan,
kuchh toh suno.. yooonhi kabhi!

Do nothing..

What a boring day it was today. Bad bad mood swings!
I want to go to ireland :D
I want to sit down idle for hours doing nothing.


Down the memory lane..

A paper from my register. Year 2005.

Tere Bin by Rabbi Shergill

Tere bin sann sohneya, koi hor naiyo labhna,
jo dewe rooh nu sukoon, chhuke jo nakhra mera,
ve mein sare mulke wekhiya,
amreeca, roos, malaysia,
na kittey vi koi farq si,
har kisay di koi shart si,
koi mangda mera si sama,
koi hond'a soorat te fida,
koi mangda meri si wafa,
na koi mangda meriyan bala,
tere bin.. hor na kisi,
mangdi meriyan bala !

July 18, 2010

A wonderful morning with my three idiots!

Its always wonderful to wake up in the morning ,rubbing my eyes to watch three little cute little clumsy figures watching me in astonishment. They cherish waking me up. "Yay, fizzy, good morning', now we will play games on computer, then u will tell us horror stories, then u will take us to park where we will play cricket and fizzy will be the last one to bat and then we will go for icecream, hai na fizzy ??
And I love to listen to their plans and making them successful. Its great to exploit their innocent will for the sake of one whole day of pure entertainment, when I tell them " Great plans.but for that you have to ...'' and they exactly know what they have to do. They have to start with a series of kisses and end up giving me head massages with their innocently cute hands.
Its irritating while watching Child''s play, they want to know the story from me, in 10 minutes before it appears on the screen. "us ne aisay q nahin kia, us ne usay mar kiun nahin dia, woh aisay karta toh bach jata, woh bewakuf tha, use pata nahin tha k woh churail he, usay us guriya ko apne friend ko gift kardena chahiye tha''. LOL
And watching cricket with them is a pure bliss. At this age, their love& knowledge of this game is phenomenal. I wish, Moiz joins cricket one day.
Children are so innocent. I feel their warmth. I feel the magical spell of their love which is completely self-less. I love to love them. Ahmed (10), Moiz (9) and my boyfriend Daniyal (8) are like my babies. I've seen them growing. I remember the first time, ahmed learned to walk. When he spoke his first words, when his first tooth erupted .. and there they are growing big, day after day mashaAllah. Its such a wonderful feeling to have them around and fantasize them with a dream childhood,one could have with a loving phuppo, one that I never had ! :)

July 16, 2010

Good VS Bad

Angel. This word to me is much more than "purity". There was a time in my life when I thought I am a very good person. I used to judge people upon what I perceived about them. I didnt know, that this world is a hypocrite place and people have faces beneath their real faces. Faces that may darken your life, may snatch away ur sanity, if you watch them in real. I was 17. Young, vibrant and true. I thought when I dont lie to people, even people wont lie to me. I had fantasies about this world and I was all set to preach people the goodness of nature, trusting each other, believing in friendship and most of all, ethical ways of loving and respecting each other. Then betrayals came my way. Losses, suffering, pain and emotional turmoil took me by storm. It was difficult for myself. But, I gathered immense spirit to keep myself going. I accepted my defeats, I bowed down to the sufferings, but I didn't lose hope. Time transcended me to become very strong. I learned to take people as they are. I met so many people who weren't that religious(includes some of my non-muslim janne wale) but they were far more a better person than I was. I never lied, I used to offer my prayers daily, I used to do everything that a good Muslim should do, but..i realised, abiding by the rules set by Almighty doesnt make me superior in front of Allah, rather its the goodness of nature, the inside person, the heart of a man, the taqwa residing in one's heart is what Allah likes.
I used to call myself "angel" because I thought I was "good". But I met people who were much more better than me in so many things. Who are we to decide about a person being right or wrong. Let the Superior Supreme decide it. As a human, I have my own weaknesses. But atleast I have the courage to accept my faults, ask Allah for forgiveness and try to be a better person than I am now!!

Pari jab apni buraiyon per nazar,
toh nigaah mein koi bura naa raha ..

If I Let You Go- Westlife

Ma most favorite. Everrrrr !!

Nobody knows, i hide it inside,
i keep on searching but i cant find..
and once again, i am thinking about ..
taking the easy way out..

Tujh se bhee ..

Faiz Ahmed faiz''s one liner, to sum up today!

Duniya ne teri yaad se begaana kar diyaa
Tujh se bhi dil-fareb hain, ghum rozgaar ke

Shab bakhair!!


Cant just get over with this song. Favoritest by BSB !!

July 14, 2010

My love for DCH- once again !!

I watched it after a really long time, almost after 7,8 years but I laughed to it as it was the first time.
When its about *friends* , *life* , *fights* and *endless tafreeh* ..DIL CHAHTA HAI cannot get better. There are certain sequences that I really enjoy , like the scene at the rolleroaster ride, aakash's depiction of Opera singer. Sameer's every-week-new-love and Sid's expressions. When Sid, declares his love for the lady, luv his dialogue .."and i am not sorry for that".

And once again, after 3 hours of non-stop laughter..when the movie ended, I suffered from the same depression & insomnia. I miss being with my friends.

Kesa ajab yeh safar hai,
socho toh har ek hee bekhabar hai,
usko jana kidhar hai,
jo waqt aye,
kia dikhaye ...

Grey's chemistry

While deciding to dress up for office, the only thing on my mind is to wear something that is not a repeatition in terms of colour only. I wont wear black for two consecutive days. Exceptions happen when I dont want to iron my clothes. (I am bad, bad, bad at ironing. I actually hate it)
Last night, out of nowhere, it came into my mind to wear grey, that I usually do not. Its quite a boyish color. I just wanted to wear it to distract myself from all the colorful happenings of my life. I wanted to look dull and different. So i wore grey. Boring, dull, inactive look.
I remember, one of my friend used to wear grey shirt with an awesome tie and I used to be obsessed by it. While I entered my office, I saw my friend (professional)who usually wears very light shades, I saw him in grey and exactly the same GREY that my earlier friend used to wear. I couldnt help smiling at the coincidence. Now, when I stepped in my room, saw the other friend in grey too. It felt like AWESOME. Dont know why, but this was surely the best-ever thing we shared. The magic of GREY. And I loved it. Our "Grey chemistry" :)

July 10, 2010


They say.. "The only thing permanent in life is change"
Thanks but no thanks, that it stands true in its deepest meanings. Human life is all about experiencing changes every day, every minute. Its like a road where a u-turn can appear out of nowhere and you are left with no option to succumb to it. You like it or not, but changes are there.. in people, in attitudes, in priorities and change always occurs with the passage of time. Its how we react to those changes make us a successful person or keep us a loser.
Transitions are necessary. They are bound to make you strong, give you insight of the experienced world and help you deal with life more maturely and more strategically. But there are certain changes..in people.. that hurt you. No matter how much you escape from them, they hit you, they creep like bugs into your life. They are gothic. They follow you like ghosts.No matter how much you hide from them, they resurface .. like angina. Powerful but not fatal. They hurt you deep and you yet manage to survive.
I am surviving. Choking. But yet surviving. Adhering to the changes that your time and your priorities made in my life, without my consent, without my wish.
"Its hard to hold a candle in the cold november rain.."
But, give up.. I wont. I'll be stronger than ever. And I wish, you just wait & watch.

July 9, 2010

An old learning revived today..

Apnay kia, paraye kia .. sab rang hein ek say..
kachhe sab dhaage hein.. yeh bandh hein ra`et kay..
manzil na sathi he, chalta hoon mein bekhabar ..

extracted from: reath`s bhulado!

July 8, 2010

Is se pehle k bevafa hojayen!

Is se pehle k bevafa hojayen,
kyun na ai dost hum juda ho jayen,

tu bhee heeray se hogaya patthar,
hum bhee kal jane kia se kia hojayen?

Hum bhee majboori'on ka uz'r karen,
phir kaheen aur mubtala hojayen!

Hum agar manzilein na bun paye,
Manzilon tak ka raasta hojayen..!

Ishq bhee khail he naseebon ka,
khaak hojayen, keemiya hojayen!

Bandagi hum ne chhor di hai faraz,
kia karen loag jab khuda hojayen!

Ahmed Faraz. Owssum read!

July 6, 2010

Rain me blue !!

And i just love the magic of the sondhi sondhi matti ki khusbhoo after rain. Oh, i just love it!! :)
And after a strong heat wave, finally we saw God`s blessing in the form of tiny droplets of water splashing through the skies and falling upon us as His Love to us.
I pondered.. do I love rain much or did I love you much. The answer was obvious!
Rains have never been the same, since you arent around. The magic, the pureness, the bliss, the charisma of rain has just faded away sumwhere. I still love the rain, like I love you. But likewise rain olways makes me sad. Ever since I dont see you through my window, smiling in the rain.. my heart always goes grey in rain. I am blue without you.

Baarishon k mausam mein,
tumko yaad karne ki ,
adatein purani hein..
ab ki baar socha hai,
adatein badal denge,
phir khayal aya k,
adatein badalne se,
barishein nahin rukteen!

July 5, 2010

Chale They Saath Saath - Junoon

A wonderful, wonderful song!!

Chalay.. chalay thay saath saath
Rukay..rukay thay saath saath

kitna haseen tha apna safar
saaray jahan ki khushian theen saath
bichar gayay hum dukh ki hay baat

meri zindagi mere saath nahin

Chalay.. chalay thay saath saath
Rukay..rukay thay saath saath

kese na karta usko main pyar
uski hansi mein sukh thay hazaar
bichar gaye hum dukh ki hai baat

meri zindagi mere saath nahin

kia socha hua tha
duur ho kay mila kia
main nay uss kay dil ko tora kia?
ya phir uss nay mujh ko chora kia?
bandhan tha yeh tora kia?

baat mairi sunn lay woh
kaash daikhay mujhay woh
sochon main yun khoya hon main
jaga hon ya soya hon main?

jaanay kitna roya hon main!

Chalay.. chalay thay saath saath
Rukay..rukay thay saath saath!

July 3, 2010

Midnight at the sea..

Vast. Gigantic. Like a lover that never betrays you. And its the most obvious friend I have, always fully prepared to embrace me with wide arms. The sea.
All I could hear there were the sounds of my silence. My disembling thoughts. My array of life`s eternal prosthatetics. I always enjoy this extreme silence where the only noise i can hear directly is generated from my heart. I sit at the rocks. The water splashes over me and everytime it touches my feet seems like the first time I stepped into water with you. snobbishly, like a little kid who learns to walk by following the pattern set by his guardian to walk. You taught me all the obvious things in life. How to talk, how to help, how to do this how to do that. But you never told me .. how to react when you leave me. How to suffer the pain and yet smile at the world. You didnt tell me ever, that alone at midnight .while throwing pebbles into the sea, when it occurs to me that you arent there for me, what should I do. I walk past the shore in hurry. I play heavy rock to divert my attention.. but the only face crossing my mind remain yours. And I dont have any clue ..Why?
Samandar mein utarta hoon toh ankhein bheeg jati hein
Teri aankhon ko parhta hoon toh aankhein bheeg jati hein
Tumhara naam likhne ki ijazat chhin gai jab se
koi bhee lafz likhta hoon toh aankhein bheeg jati hein
Mein hans k jhail leta hoon judaai ki sabhi rasmein
galay jab uss k lagta hoon toh aankhein bheeg jati hein!

July 2, 2010

Another blast..

And last night,once again we were flooded with pictures of blood,flesh and extreme disgust following the LIVE coverage of suicide bomb blasts at lahore's Data Darbaar.
The bombers are supposedly beleived be in the age bracket of 20-22 yrs. Such young minds and such extreme hatred for life that they not only killed themselves but also were the reason to finish off the life forn 41 people with 175 seriously injured and hundreds of families that are left helpless after the sad demise of their husbands,sons and daughters.
Where will these bomb blasts lead us? Where will we end up? one day we have the blast,we mourn next day and everything returns to just NORMAL in the next 24 hours till we get another blast. We are so used to of this stuff. Our parents have given us all the very best in our lives.. but |Iwonder what are we going to give to our kids in the next 10 years?bomb blasts, crippled economy, dark future and a system that no longer exists!

Time to ponder. Where are we heading like this? Who is responsible and what needs to be done for the preservation of this nation and its people.

July 1, 2010

Log hum se khafa khafa se rahe !

What a wonderful read by Javed Akhter.

Yahi Halaat Ibteda Sey Rahey
Log Hamsey Khafa-Khafa Sey Rahey

Bewafa Tum Kabhi Na Thay Lekin
Yeh Bhi Sach Hai K Bewafa Sey Rahey

In Chiraagoon Mein Tel Hi Kam Tha
Kyun Gila Phir Hamein Hawa Sey Rahey

Behes, Shatranj, Shair, Mousiqi
Tum Nahin Rahay To Ye Dilaasey Rahey !