In the loving memory of Noori !

Happy Birthday Noori, my younger sister. Had you been with us today, you'd have been 16. Sweet Sixteen. Full of color , vibrance and life.
I remember the time when you were about to be born. I was jealous of you. I thought by your coming, my importance &love with maa-baa would descrease. I envied you. But at the same time, I thought about you lovingly. I wanted to be "appi". I wanted someone adorable enough to share my life. To share a room full of pink stuff, teddy bears, and lot of cosmetics!
I have never talked about your death openly in the family. I always wonder, how much courage a mother needs to see a child she keeps in her womb for nine month, lying "lifeless" in front of her. How much courage, a father needs to bury his child, his youngest child in the grave. By doing so, the parents bury all their dreams they wove for their child. I wonder, how difficult it would've been for maa and baa to handle this situation. I wonder, why did I never opened up with maa-baa at this topic. Why didnt I wipe their tears. Because, I didnt had the courage to face this all. Every year, I used to think of you growing. How would you look. What would you call me? How will i be the best appi for you. But these are all dreams Noori. You are in another world. With much safer people than there are at Earth around me. You are lucky noori, you will take along maa-baa in jannat with you (inshaAllah).
I was in raheel bhai's drawing room when I heard Sami bhai breaking the news on phone. I didnt know what to do. But i remember, I picked up the jaanimaz and prayed to Allah. I cried and I asked him that this may not be true.
Nobody told me about your death. Bhai and bhayya knew and even they hid from from me. I acted casually. I believed a miracle would happen and everyone would turn out glad when they will see you alive. That probably was the first time when I got to know that all our prayers arent answered the way we want them. When they brought your body from the morgue, you were so little, and your face was just like bhayya's. You were sleeping peacefully at a little chat'aai. And then they took you away. I remember crying in haanji's laps for the first time. I was sad at the thought that "Now no body will ever call me appi".
When mom arrived from hospital two days later, she hugged and cried so much to see me. Probably, she thought of her other daughter ..had she lived !
Allah has his own plans, we fill our hearts with grief but we learn to bow down our heads to His decisions. I bowed down mine 16 years back and today when I look at the sky ..i see two angels smiling up down to me. Telling me how very much they love their appi. Noori & Shaani, you are never forgotten. You are always here, in my heart my sweethearts!
Happy Birthday Noori ! Appi loves you the most!

The *Child* inside

Ahsan & Muniba- a part of small wonders in my family.

Being the youngest in family makes you vulnerable to a lot of pampering from your family (and people who are even just few months elder than you!). I suffer this "kidomania". As a kid, I always envied the elders for not making me sit with them because they thought "its bad for me" and this attitude pissed me off. I decided to take on a stand and be good to my youngsters so that they develop a sense of worthfulness for themselves. Kids are amazing. They are just so full of life. And I have the best of my people occuring in the age group of 5-16. I am blessed to be in a family that has provided me a lot of cousins and thus, a whole lot of brand new generation around me callin me phuppo/khala/fizzy. I am at my best when I am with these kids. They are full of questions, full of curiosity, ready to jump from the bed with me, ready to bang the neighbour's door whenever I say, always willing to play cricket at even 4:00 am, ready to ask you from where did they come into the hospital and yes,always ready to tell the elders "who" persuaded them to go ahead with these naughty ideas! *sigh*
But life is so good with them. To wake up to their morning cuckoos, to see the shine in their eyes when you talk about "icecream", to make up fake stories for them including spiderman, batman, black man, whiteman, snowhite and Rapunzel together to come up with something interesting for them, and if you try finishing the story in 20 minutes, they'd say you dont even know telling stories. Huh
They will teach you the art of fighting,then forgetting and bein' normal so very well. My mother says I am spoiling the kids. I wonder, if I myself am getting spoiled by their vivacious attributes. They teach you to love, the warmth of their hug is outstandingly great. And I love to spend time with my kids (my nephews/nieces) because they teach me how lovely life is, full of color, vibrance and dynamism. Seein' 'em grow up is a wonderful feeling, and that too when they know they have someone to look upto when they feel down is a downright delight to the senses.

Childhood is the best part of one's life indeed, but even if you grow up, dont let the child in you die- for your life will fade off colour if it happens. Be open to children, I tell you they will always make you learn, relearn and redo LOVE in its purest form like no adult will ever teach you! Proven.

Mohalle ki ronak galiyan hain jaise
Khilne ki zid per kaliyan hain jaise
Muthi mein mausam ki jaise hawaein
Yeh hai buzurgo ke dil ki duyaaein
Kho na jaayen yeh.. taare zameen per!

Love chronicles..

Is gravity responsible for people falling in love? We see thousands of couples swinging hands in hands together. In the newest couple, this is a spark, an ignition to contantly know about the better half that keeps them going but what with people having 30+, 40+ and 50+ years of marriages/courtships and still be in love the same mad way as they were years back. i've seen the ugliest of matches, but jab larka larki raaazi, toh kia kare ga qaazi? I often wonder what keeps people glued to each other. I think love is a universal phenonmenon and it has a distinct appeal in diverse ways. Sometimes, even after intense arguments, just a smile can vanish away the negativities out of your way. Love change its form, but it never loses its shape. It never fades away. It can only be the folly of love that can make the imperfections of another person, so perfect for you that you adore them for it. Their specific perfume with a mix of their cigarettes can intoxicate you to death. A colour that he/she always wears. A place that you've been together in some time of your life. The first kiss. Looking at yourself in the mirror only to think how the other person would pursue you this way. Its just the amount of time and sincerity you put into a relationship that works. The spark, the fire, the ignition, the passion is always there, but love, like all great things, endures a path that is full of thorns. One needs to pass it with a lot of courage, and like all great things, what love needs at the end of the day is ,.."assurance" and "re-assurance" to keep the glow lightening.

The perfect imperfections in love

A memoir for a dear friend

There are people in life that inspire you. Today, marks the five beautiful years of my friendship with a friend who has been more than a friend, an angel in disguise, guide, mentor, sibling for me, scolding me, cheering me and always taking the best out of me. Thank you Najam, for being such a wonderful friend.
Jeetay raho ! :)

The Show Must Go On!

Every time when a new disappointment hits me, turned down by my friends, let down by my family, ditched by my destiny or dumped by my lover, I know.. I know this is not where I am going to stop. I have to move on, I have to let go things off my mind and never stop moving. No matter how much the heartaches, no wonder how much the pain.. but I have to move on., because..
The Show must go ON !

Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
The Show must go on!
I'll face it with a grin!
I'm never giving in!
On with the show!
I'll top the bill!
I'll overkill!
I have to find the will to carry on!
On with the show!
The Show must go on!

Zindagi (Exceprt from Peer-e-kamil)

My most favorite exceprt from my all time favourite novel "Peer-e-Kamil"

"Zindagi mein hum kabhi na kabhi uss maqam per aa jatey hein jahan saarey rishtey
khatam ho jate hein.Vahan sirf ham hotey hein aur Allah hota ha. Koi maan baap,behan bahi,koi dost nahi hota. Phir hamein pata chalta ha ke hamarey pairoon ke neechey zameen ha na hamarey sir ke oper koi aasmaan,bus sirf aik Allah ha jo hamein is khala mein bhe thamey hoye hai. Phir pata chalta ha ham zameen per parii mattii ke dher mein aik zarrey ya dharakht per lagey hove aik patey se zada ke voqat nahi rakhtey . Phir pata chlata ha ke hamarey honey ya na honey se sirf
hamein he fark parta ha. Sirf hamara kirdaar khatam ho jata. Kaenaat
mein koi tabdilee nahi aatii,kissi cheez per koi asar nahi perta..!!"

Donate Generously for Pakistan Floods 2010

‎1/5th of the country submerged in waters roughly equal to the size of ITALY, 15million people affected, 2million homes destroyed, 1600 dead, 1.6million of crops ruined, 3.5 million children at risk of diarrhea, dysentery and cholera. Starvation and frustration grows exponentially. This is a global crisis, more damaging than Tsunami, Haiti earthquake and hurricane Katrina combined.
Please Donate. And ask everybody to do so.

Help my people. Save my people!

Happy Independence Day !

Agreed, we are engrossed in the toughest of times, have the baddest of leaders, awfully bad infrastucture, the worst of catastrophes ..but this LAND OF THE PURE , 63 years back was built with blood.. to sustain and survive and survive, it will! No matter what! We will rise from the ashes, will help each other hands in hand and we will survive. We shall choke but we wont give up breathing. Pakistan, as a country shall "Rise & Shine" and yes we, as Pakistani's shall make it happen, no matter if we have to sacrifice our lives for it. But, we shall never quit and We will never ever give up.
*Sohni dharti, Allah rakhey, qadam qadam aabaad tujhey" ameen!

Happy Independence Day!

Psychology Personality Test !

So i took this random personality test. What does it say? have a look;

Dear Fizza Rahman, based PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY TEST,
You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him.../her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble. (ha ha ha :p)

You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.

Here is the analysis:...

• :You love the crowd... a party animal!
• :You hide your emotions... Sometimes pretending to be always happy.
• :You search for love...
• :You appreciate simple things in life...
• :You’re independent!

LOL. It came kindda true ;)

Some amazing excerpts from "Qasas-e-Nooh A.S"

The recent floodings in 2010 which have brought a natural catastrophical disaster in Pakistan, have led to me think, rethink and shed some light of the fact that..
"Are we under azaab" ?
I am compelled to think that is it the kind of azab that Allah(SWT) imposed upon qaum-e-Nooh(AS) because of their shirk.
While I was reading the details about the "paani ka azaab" at qaum-e-Nooh at Qasas-ul-Anbiya, i found some very interesting facts, infact, i was amazed by them. Sharing them for your kind knowledge.

1. Kashti pe hazrat Nooh ne hathi ki sar pe hath phera tha jis ki waja se uski naak mein 2 soorakh huay aur istarah us ne kashti k andar ki tamam ghalazat (filth) ko apni soond se bahar phaink dya.
2. Hazrat Nooh ne hanzir (PIG) ko mardood kaha toh, sheytaan uski madad se kashti per agaya. aur us ne atay hee Hanzir k mathay pe hath phera jiski waja se uski naak se 2 chohay paisa huay aur un choohon ne kashti k andar soorakh karna shru kardia. Yehi waja hai k hanzir ka gosht musalmanon per haram kardia gaya hai kiun k yeh Allah ka sabse napasandeda janwar hai, aur is k gosht ko khanay se insan begherat hojata hai aur uski sharm o haya khatam hojati hai.
3. Jab kashti mein choohay soorakh karne lagay toh hazrat jibraeel AS se hazrat Nooh ko kaha k sher ki paishani per hath phairain aur is tarha uski naak se 2 billian paisa hueyeen jinho ne choohon ko kha lia, tabhi se choohay aur billi dushman hein.
4. Hazrat Nooh ne kabootar ko bheja k ja kar dekhe k paani kitna tham gaya hai dunya mein, woh gaya aur kuch geeli aur kuch sooki matti apne paon per laga laya jis waja se pata chal gaya k abhi b dunya per pani buhat hai. isi k badlay Hazrat Nooh ne dua ki k kabootar ko hamesha pyar ki nigah se dekha jaye.
5. Isi k bad Hazrat Jibraeel hazir huay aur unhon se tamam pani ko 7 hisson mein taqseem kardia jis waja se aj dunya mein 7 samandar hein.
6. Allah SWT ne hazart Nooh AS ko hukum dia k tamam seeds ko zameen mai bo dain, unhon ne aisa hee kia magar angoor k seeds na milay. Unhein shetaan ne chura lia, jis per Hazrat Nooh ne baazpurs ki toh shetaan mardood ne angoor k seeds dai diye aur hazrat Nooh se kaha k mai bhee is ko bonay mein apki madad karoonga. Zameen mein lomri (fox), sher (lion) aur hanzir (pig) ko halaak kar k us ka khoon dala. Us k baad Hzrat Nooh ne iqrar kia aur aik hissa pani khud dala aur 3 hissay pani us mein shetaan mardood ne dalay. Yehi waja hai k angoor k andar jo mithaas hai woh hazrat Nooh k pani dalne ki waja se hai aur us se jo sharab banti hai woh shetaan mardood k pani dalne ki waja se hai, Yehi waja hai k sharab peenay wale insan ka mizaaj pehle lomri (fox), phir sher (lion)aur phir hanzir (pig) ki tarha hojata hai, tabhi woh na kuch dekha sakta hai aur na hee kuch samajh sakta hai.
7. Hazra Nooh ne shetaan mardood se poocha k woh kaun se 4 kam hein jin k karne se aulad-e-aadam dozakh mein jayegi toh shetaan bola woh 4 kaam hein: "hasd - hirs -takabur- bukh'l

• (hasad yani kisi se jalna nahi chahye ,
• bukhl yani kanjoosi :apni zarooryat pe kharch karna chayay kanjoosi nahi karni chahyay aur khuda ki di hui dolat mein se zakat deni chahyay. Aik hadis e pak mein ata ke jo loog buhl kartay hai yahi dolat qayamat ke din un ke gale ka tooq(yani phanda) ban jayegi;,
• takabur yani ghroor insan ko baray bool nahi bolne chahyay kisi kism ki barai nahi honi chahyay insan mein kuonke khuda ko ajzi o sadgi pasand hai aur parhaizgaar loog hi us ke mehboob hai,aur
• hirs yani lalach nahi karni chahyay.
• Agr kisi mein bi koi ikhlaqi burai (jhoot ,hasdo hirs o takaboro buhl ...)hu tu woh subh fajr ke baad 7 baar sorrah alkafiroon parhay tu har qism ki ikhlaqi burai khatam hujati hai . khuda hum sab ko in sab ikhlaqi burayoon se bachne ki tofiq ata farmayay aur hum pe rehm farmayay(amin)..

1. Phir iske baad hazrat nooh ne iski sharah isse poocho tu iblis ne jawab dya ke "meine 70 000 saal khuda wande tallah ki ibadat ki hai aur iska hukm manta rha hu(rawayat mein hai ke iblis sabse zyada ibadat ghuzar tha aur sabse zyada ibadat bi ussi ne ki hai lakin aik sajda na karne ki waja se rad kar dya gyaa tu soochyay hum ne kitne sajde choore hain ? hum ne kitne hukm nahi manay ?)...aur jab adam ko allah ne bnaya tu sab farishtoon ko hukm hua ke isse sajda karoo sab ne kiya aur meine hasad kiyaa (ke adam mati ke banay hai aur mein aag ka mein adam ko sajda kuon karonga)isiliyay khuda ki lanat huwi aur dosri baat yeh ke phir ALLAH ne mujse poocha aur ke tune adam ko sajda kuon nahi kiya tu mein magroor hugya ke mein adam se behtar hu isiliyay allah ne apni dargah se mardod kaarar karke nikal dya aur teesri waja yeh ke hirs(lalach )hui adam ko gehyoo khane ki jisse allah ne mana farmaya tha aur meine unhein gehyon khane pe uksaya aur isiliyay woh behshat se nikale ghay aur is duniya ki qaid mein girftar hughay"aik hadis hai ya kisi ka qool muje sure nahi usmein ata ke "momin ke liyay duniya dozakh hai aur kafir ke liyay janat"..aur isi hirs ne adam ko is dozakh mein phenkwaya tha...aur choota buhl hai ke khuda ne buhliyoon pe janat ko haram kardya hai woh hargiz janat mein na jayenge ...iblis yeh waqiya hazrat nooh(alyih islam) ko suna ke chala gya tu baad mein khuda ka hukm hua ke eh nooh tu is kashti ki lakri se aik masjid bana tab whan unho ne usi jodi pahari pe masjid bnai aur us basti ka naam "samaneen "rakha yani iska matlab yeh hai ke tamam adam momin o momina usi basti mein hazrat nooh ke sath rehte the..aur iske chand rooz baad hi hazrat nooh wafat pa gaye.
2. Aapki wafat ke baad unki aulaad saam,khaam aur yasif baqi rhi yani yeh pori duniya in teenoon ki nasl mein se hai ..ehle arabo ajam saam ki aulaad mein se hai.

This post is based upon "Qasa-ul-Anbia". Any discrepancy may be notified.

Jazak Allah khair !!

Ramadan Mubarak !!

And here comes the month of pure divinity! Comes the month ,where the "devils" are caged and the doors of heaven are wide opened. When Allah descends to the lower skies and asks "Who is he, that asks me for favors? I shall, bless him".
This time Ramadan-ul-mubarak has arrived in such a situation that we are crippled as a nation with economic distress, floods rushing across the country, more than 14million affected, more than 8lac homes destroyed and many villages drowned, and with a recent air-blue crash accident that occured at Islamabad killing 152 innocent people. How heart breaking this all is. We, as a nation are engrossed in so many disasters that the independence day approaching us is not even bringing smiles to us. The effected ppl are going to manage their iftar's and seher's in what ways, we really dont know and it brings much more agony and a lot of pain.
Lets hope this Ramadan brings rehmat for all of us.
Enjoy your special feasts. Do lot of ibada'h and gain the opportunity of getting Allah's Blessing, whole month through.

Ramadan Kareem mubarak!

The world of beautiful people !

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" goes a famous saying. Agreed. What if someone doesnt have eyes to see?
Beauty is something that is not only seen. It is felt. It is touched with emotions. Beauty doesnt necessarily imply to havin a flawless skin in females and bare-chest males, rather it is the combined menifestation of one's aura, charisma to make people dwell into love with you. This world is full of beautiful people, all so much different from us, yet so very nice, so very humble. Agreed, that bad people in the world exist more, but isnt it like this the world becomes as you see it. IF you do good, goodness will come back to you(i think so).
For the past couple of days, i 've thinking abt how different people of the world are, it is because of Allah who is the Creator. He has put so much glow, so much diversity in this world that the longer we keep gazing at it.. the more we are compelled to say .."Waraye aqal hai teri khudaai" (God, we cant reach to your imagination)
Beautiful people, great many places, astonishing sights and much much more. No matter if its a black or white, a chinese or a european,we all are connected with the bond of humanity. This world is a heavin, in itself.
Thank You Allah for giving us the eyes to see and the heart to feel this beauty.
God, tussi greatest ho!!

While you are (perpetually) away…

While you are (perpetually) away…

Suffering the National crisis

The country is in trouble. BIGG TIME!!

The recent rains and floods all over Khyber pakthunkuwah and Punjab have devatated life like anything. 1100 have already died. Thousands are homeless and millions have no one to seek refuge from. The rains are pouring in and it is estimated that the next two days will bring worse flood for Sindh as well. We have not even gotten out of trauma of the recent airbus tragedy that killed 152 people on board, that this flood thing has hit us like anything.

David Cameron is making obscene comments about Pakistan, standing at the Indian soil that "Pakistan is exporting terror" and he refuses to take his words back. And there we go, our president is out to France and plans for a visit to Britain as well. Rather relieving the people here in Pakistan, he is trying to straighten up the ambassador bonds,huh.

Pakistan Cricket team succumbs to the lowest total against England in the first test match. Worst defeat by 354 runs.

Arent we in a total mess?

May God have some Mercy over us!

Welcome, August !!

Welcome to the month of the pure. The whites and the greens!
We all love this combination, dont we??

We are independent and we respect it all costs.
Pakistan Zindabad :)

Mai kia hoon aur kia khuwab liye phirrta hoon!

And this couldnt be better than this. Wonderful, wonderful read!!

Janey Kyon Shikast Ka Azab liye Phirta hoon,
Main Kia hoonn aur kia Khuwab Liye Phirta hoon,

Usne Aik Baar kiya tha Sawal-e-Mohabbat,
Mai Her Lamha Wafa ka Jawab Liye Phirta Hoon!

Uss ne poocha Kub se nahi Soye,
Mai tub se Raat Jagnay Ka Hisab Liye Phirta Hoon!

Uss Ki Khwahish thi k meri ankhon mai pani dekhay,
mai uss waqt se ansuoon ka Sailaab Liye Phirta Hoon!

Afsos k phir be wo mera na hua Faraz,
Mai Jiss ki aarzoo ki kitaab Liye Phirta hoon!

Friendship Day :D

Friends add colour to our life. They are the sunshine, they are the rains, they are the ones who make life just very easy when everything looks dark. A reason to cherish, a reason to smile, who hide our short comings and the only ones who take pride is us when we fail ;)
Who are ready to lend you their wallet if you are short of money at ur date, but who wont lend u a single penny, if you take them to a restaurant and say yar wallet bhool gaya hoon, tu dey dey mein bad mein de doon ga :D
Who console you and say... koi bat nahin jigarr, meri tayarai tujh se bhee kum hai, chal aja, apper de dete hein, fail huay bhee toh saath hee hongay naa :D
Who grow up with us, who know us inside-out.. these are friends.
Its not necessary to get years to be be friends, sometimes it takes just a few days.
afterall yeh toh tatal dil se dil ka connexion he na :)

My riches do not lie in the material wealth but rather having friends like the ones I have.

Yeh rida-e-jaan tujhey saunp doon k na dhoop tujhko kari'i lagay,
Tujhay dukh na den mere jeetay jee sar-e-dasht gham ki tamaazaten!

Happy friendship day to all my friends!

Stay cool :D