Ta'lluq rooth jane se, kabhi toota nahin karte !

Main sun k uski sub batain,
Faqat itna hi kehta tha,
Khafa hona mana laina,
Yeh sadiyon say riwayat hay,
Muhabbat ki alamat hay,
Gilay shikway karo mujh say,
Tumhain yaara ijazat hay,
Magar ik baat meri bhi,
Zara tum yaad rakh laina,
Kabhi aisa bhi hota hay,
Hawa’ain rukh badalti hain,
Khiza'ein laut aati hain,
Khata’ain ho hi jati hain,
Khafa hona bhi mumkin hay,
Khata hona bhi mumkin hay,
Hamaisha yaad rakhna tum,
Ta’aluq rooth janay say,
Kabhi toota nahin kertay…!

Living in the afterglow..

"Here I am, lost in the light of the moon
that comes through my windows,
Bathed in blue,the walls of my memories divides the thorns from the roses,
its "you" and the roses"
my mind drifts away,
you only have today,
touch me and I will follow,
in your afterglow,
kill me from all this sorrow,
as I let you go,
I will find my way,
I will sacrifice,
and I am living ..
in your afterglow"

Its June 29 today. Its a sunny day, but for me, it has been a day of heavy rains. Rains of memories that fall over you like hard stones. I've never been this depressed in the loneliest of times. Then why today? There has been so much that I havent caught up in ages, but there has been so very much that I have got as a blessing from Allah, but why humans have to always regret. Why dont I show contentment even though I know how much I feel contented.
Talking to a friend yesterday,I confessed that I never want to see "university" again. The place where I have spent the best years of my life, so care-free, with so much laughters, fights over nothing and a reason to celebrate each day without any reason. Sitting together and sharing the joys of bunking classes, Crying together if any one misses out to pass,all those wonderful memories fill my eyes with a saltish liquid. Its been 18 months. I've just been to that place twice, and all alone , and I never want to go there again. Had I knew,there would be tears after all those years os smiles, ihad i knew there would be loneliness after so many joyous moments, I wouldn't have opted to live that life. I miss my friends so much. But we all have grown up, we all have different responsiblities to handle, but I never knew that it would be so heart-breaking to call them to meet and listen that they are busy. Busy! who is not? but for friends.. no, never! I miss them all so dearly. I miss my Pirogenzz tree, i think it is all alone there .. but standing with it, sharing the grief is me. Life goes on, and so we do. I miss my friends, but I dont wish to see them again cuz I know if i see their face, i will remember all the pain that I have gone through. And the pain has now subsided, I dont want the numbness to rise again.
Goodluck to all that you do in ur lives, friends.
You shall always be close to my heart !!

Deception

"It was a foggy evening. I had gone out to buy some groceries. Had I had any other suitable thing to eat that night,I would'nt have gone out at all. The mist was creating chills in the environment. While outside,people were very less in number, still there were many out there to wrap their day's earnings to go home with their collections. Aah, life! And there I saw a middle aged woman, in extreme cold weather, she was dressed in a mini skirt, her bare legs covered with a net stalking, which werent even able to hide her nor give her the warmth she required. She was bargaining with a customer and she agreed for 20 dollars. She had 3 kids to feed and there was no other way out for her, so she chose this way"
While I read this description in one of my favorite novels, I stopped to think about that lady who had chosen to sacrifice a decent lifestyle, so that she could feed her kids. Responsibilities sometimes can be fatal. A person of my origin, my ethnicity would regard her act as totally INDECENT but who knows the physical hardships and mental pressures she had to go through to opt for a lifestyle that is meant to be this way.
We all are in awe of getting decepted by the physical appearances of people. We never see what's inside the heart. A boy with a beard will always be considered "shareef" in our society, no matter what he does. A girl, following burqa will always be a "shareef larki", no matter if she takes that burqa out immediately after reaching her workplace/institute. We all love to judge others at the cost of their physicalities.. and more or less, we are deceived everytime. To survive in this world, you need to slaughter your moral values and adjust them according to the sub-standards set by this world. Values, that are unethical. Rules that are brutally immoral. Why cant we be true to ourselves and BE OURSELVES. Why is it necessary to confide things in heart and be good to others in face. We are losers, because we dont have the courage to face the reality. Be it ours. Be it others. We would backbite about others but in face, we would be complimenting abt the same person. Cant we have same standards for everyone? The parameters on which I judge people are the same on which I expect them to judge me. But, aah ..people and this damn world, if you are a true person, you dont like to bribe, you dont sin, you dont tell lie.. then join the club. WE ARE MISFITS ! and sometimes, this feeling hurts and hurts a lot. Wish somebody could see the unseen dreams behind the true eyes.
Ab dekh yeh meri ujree hui aankhein,
dunya tere bare mein mere khuwab buhat thay!